Pain and Gratitude

Hi guys.

So, I was planning on making this week's blog post about either 'Impending thoughts on Uni' or 'What's on My Phone' but then I was hit with some unexpected news yesterday, and it didn't feel right to dedicate this week's post to anything else.

Unfortunately, my great grandad passed away yesterday. Not only was it devastating, but also confusing as on my seventeen years on the planet, not once have I experienced a death in the family. The worst thing about this is that it came so suddenly - I only knew the extent of what he was going through since the day before, so not one part of me was expecting to find out this news when I got home from what had been a reasonably good day at school.

I'm not all that familiar with the grieving process, so I don't quite know how to cope, I feel guilty for not thinking about it for a minute, yet slump back into sadness when I do think about it for too long. Yet it's watching my dad cry also who properly grew up with him that gets me the worst.

Anyway, how on earth does one grieve? I don't quite know what to do because it doesn't even feel real. I guess what is best to do is summed up with the quote above that I'm particularly fond of, to look back with gratitude. He made it to 91 years which is an extraordinary lifetime, and he was an extremely generous and hilarious man. I love the fact that he had an extensive record collection too, I'd look in awe when looking around. I'm blessed to have had him in my life, and will always remember how genuinely grateful he was just for the call when phoning him up on my birthday. I only ever have fond memories of him in my lifetime.

Jade xx